A Kiss from the King

A few weeks ago as I was walking up for Communion I found myself asking God the question, “When will I meet my future husband?” Somewhat typical of me to ask, but this time the question got a little deeper. My thought unfolded into, “How could any mortal man ever amount to the heroic, passionate, and unconditionally loving bar you have set for them?” I laughed as the thought began to settle within my heart, these poor men; they have no idea who they are competing against. Not to say it is a competition, but Jesus is the ultimate package. Who is the man who knows me through and through, even better than I know myself - Jesus. Who is the man who never tires of giving me second chances in the midst of my unending hiccups - Jesus. Who is the man who takes every opportunity within my day to speak to me, surprise me, woo me, and most importantly tell me he loves me - Jesus. Gosh darn it Jesus, you’re the best. You are so great, I get nervous you set my bar a little too high.

So the next question fights it’s way to the surface, “Are you calling me to yourself, do you want me to be your bride?” I mean it would make sense, you are the one constant in my life, you have never let me down, and you have been there for the darkest moments of my life - it was you who truly saved me and brought me back into union with your love. This thought soon was pushed aside by the classic, “but sweet Jesus, what about the babies? I love the babies. They are so cute and chubby. Little muffins.” Oh those babies are definitely one of the influencing reasons why I want to pursue the sacrament of marriage. What an honor it would be to serve the King as an educator, a bride, and a channel of God's love. What little warriors would be sent forth from our home. What a panic the devil would have. My babies. Mm.

Alas, this reroutes me back to my original thought-when will I meet my future husband? As I lifted my eyes, bowed before my Lord, and received Jesus in the most Holy Sacrament of the Eucharist, I felt as though the King himself had kissed my lips and smiled as if to say, “Just you wait.”

Oh, Lord, you know my heart. You see my thoughts from afar. Since I cannot at this moment find clarity in these answers, at least grant peace to my soul. Grant that I may not shy from the opportunities to grow into a faithful spouse, a loving mother, and a hopeful daughter. May my heart rest in your hands at all times and have mercy on me when I snatch it back and try to place it in the hands of another before it’s time. I trust in you, Jesus with my whole heart and I am most grateful for your love in return. St. Joseph, guardian of virgins, pray for us. Mother Mary most holy, keep my eyes on the King and pray I allow him to reveal what I need to know in his own time.
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​Zimbabwe,
Bethany Szamocki
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