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Getting to Know Our Missionaries Better...
As we are about halfway through Lent, some of us may be feeling the weight of our Lenten commitments for better or worse. It’s usually at this point in Lent when I begin to reflect and enter into praying the Stations of the Cross. And as this will be posted on the feast day of St. Dismas (known as the Good Thief), I thought it would be appropriate to focus today's blog post on him.
On the day of Christ’s crucifixion, there were two other criminals being crucified with Him. Something I think is often overlooked about this fact, is what these two other people experienced before the iconic scene of one mocking Christ and the other asking for forgiveness. Let's start at beginning of these three people meeting, and ponder what their interactions had to been like for each thief to have a different response to Christ at the end of their lives. *NOTE: the following is a personal reflection, therefore don't interpret this as Church teaching or Tradition. The meeting begins in a prison cell. The structure of the prison cells during this period of history often allowed for multiple people to be in one cell together. As they wait for the moment the guards would walk in and begin to march them to Calvary, what did the three of them do? Was there talk about escaping their deaths? Discussing plans on how they would take out the guards, which paths to run to get out of the city, and what they should do if one were to get caught. As the two thieves plotted, I imagine Christ just sitting in silence. The silence catches the attention of one of the thieves, and he can't put ask: "Why are you here? How come you're not trying to escape with us?" Christ covered in blood, bruised beyond recognition, and feeling overwhelming pain of taking a breathe; manages to smirk and reply back: "I'm good with my position here." Shocked by his reply, one thief goes back to crafting a plan while the other takes a moment to try and understand this man before him. The day breaks. Although an attempt to escape was made by the two thieves, it didn't change the reality that all three are given their crosses to carry to Calvary. Being the slower of the three, Christ walked ahead. Along the way, the two thieves witnessed Christ fall on the ground multiple times, women weeping over this man and one even wiping his face with her cloth. They ask themselves again, "what did this man do? Who is he?" It wasn't until the end of their march, when they were thrown down unto their crosses, that they read the title given to Christ: "THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS." (Luke 23:38) It all began to click for each of them. They both started to recall the stories they had heard of this man, the miracles he performed, and how he claim to be the Son of God. In the heart of one thief, the aspirations to escape death are reignited. He sees another chance to end his current pain and avoid the inevitable suffering of death. His heart begins to race at the thought of being free once again that cries out to Christ asking for relief from his suffering. While this is happening, the other thief is feeling puzzled. He recalls the testimonies of miracles and teachings that were spoken of this man, and none spoke of evils that justify Christ's crucifixion. This other thief can't make sense of what is being done before his eyes, but rather than desiring to be freed from his suffering, it simply turns his gaze to the Lord. ___________________________________________________________________________________ We all have a cross to bear and suffering to endure, but we do not do it alone. In times of intense suffering and pain, our natural response is similar to become “navel gazers”. We begin to think of ways to escape the pain and suffering, and at times by whatever means necessary. It can take the form bargaining with God, seeking earthly means of relieving the hurt; but more often than not, accusing the Lord of being separated from us in our pain. How often do we, like the bad thief, filled with aspirations to move on from the suffering that forget to look around to see who is here with us in the suffering? The cry of our hearts resemble more along the lines: “Aren’t you the God of the universe? Do you not love your child enough to relieve me from this pain? Save your relationship with me!” Perhaps we never say those words out loud, but the Lord knows our hearts more than we do. He knows the cries of a child who believes that their parent has left them all alone, yet Scripture reminds us: “We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:15-16) Let us not become so fixated on seeking relief from our sufferings that we forget we are not alone in these trials. May we redirect our hearts and minds in trials of suffering as St. Dismas did. While St. Dismas acknowledged his cross, he didn’t seek for it to be taken away from him. Rather, he turned his gaze to Christ and asked for mercy and companionship in this time of trial. Christ assured him that he would not be forgotten or alone, and that mercy will be delivered to him. Therefore, no matter what your suffering is, you can take a cue from St. Dismas, and as you hang on your cross, know you do not hang alone. Christ is right there next to you. My crucified Jesus, wash me with Your most precious blood; look upon me as the good thief who hung on the cross next to You at Calvary. A sinner paying for his crimes but recognizes Your divinity and begs for mercy and forgiveness and asks, “Jesus, remember me when You come into Your kingdom.” Dear Lord, look upon me like the good thief and I should be so lucky and full of peace. Amen. St. Dismas, pray for us.
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The Advent and Christmas seasons are my favorite time of the year, not only because of the joy of spending time with family and friends but also because those seasons remind us that God is ALWAYS faithful to his promises because He is Who He says He is. God promised that He would set His people free and He did so by sending His only Son, Jesus, to break the chains of sin and darkness. Is it any coincidence that Christmas falls around the time of the winter solstice, which is also the darkest time of the year? The hours of daylight increase every day after the solstice which is a perfect reminder that "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it" (Jn 1:5).
Each of us has places of darkness in our own hearts and in our own lives, whether it's a particular sin we struggle with, family difficulties, feelings of depression and loneliness, the death of a loved one, financial difficulties, and any other places we haven't let the light of Jesus shine through. It might seem difficult to bring those places of darkness to the Lord, maybe out of fear of what He'll say about it or because we think we have to present the "perfect" version of ourselves to Him. Fear not, friends, Jesus was born in a manger in a cave amongst animals (definitely not the cleanest and most pristine environment) because He wanted to show us that He's not afraid of our broken and messy hearts. He doesn't approach us as a vengeful and angry king, ready to punish us for every little imperfection. He comes to us as a gentle Baby Who wants to be born into those very places of darkness. A little while ago, I was inspired to write my own litany which I've called the Litany of Light to ask the Lord to be with me in my own places of darkness. I've borrowed some of the lines/themes from the Litany of Trust (stjosephdg.org/trust) and the Litany of Transfiguration (stfrancischurchguys.wordpress.com/2012/08/06/litany-of-transfiguration/), which are some of my favorite litanies. Feel free to pray with this and to add your own invocations. The Litany of Light When I'm tempted to lose my patience Jesus, be my light. When the actions of others frustrate me Jesus, be my light. When I'm temped to be unforgiving towards others Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to gossip Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to correct someone without charity Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to ignore the needs of my neighbor Jesus, be my light. When there's unrest and conflict in my family Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to compare myself to others Jesus, be my light. When things don't go as planned Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to take my eyes off of You, Jesus Jesus, be my light. When I've sinned Jesus, be my light. When I feel overtaken by shame and guilt Jesus, be my light. When the darkness threatens to overtake me Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to be angry with myself Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to not forgive myself Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to view myself as a failure Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to believe the way God made me isn't enough Jesus, be my light. When I'm lonely Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to fall into hopelessness Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to worship You out of obligation Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to worship You as a force of habit Jesus, be my light. When I'm tempted to lose hope in your promises Jesus, be my light. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! May the joy of the Christmas season bring peace and light into your homes! ~Olga My whole life, I have always loved kids. Perhaps it’s being the oldest of five that has predisposed me to it, but I can’t think of a time when children didn’t bring me joy. As a kid, I jumped at the chance to play peek-a-boo with toddlers or cradle a newborn. Into my teenage years, some of my favorite moments were babysitting, volunteering at a nearby Catholic nursery, and seeing the toddlers at my high school’s daycare roaming about the school. So, when I arrived at Star and got my assignment as School Assistant, I was thrilled! Working not only in youth ministry, another great joy of my life, but with grades K-8 daily has been so fulfilling in a myriad of ways.
Perhaps my biggest responsibility as School Assistant is recess. For almost two hours each day, I get to walk the kids across the street to Kiwanis Park and supervise their twice daily, twenty minutes of play. It’s wonderful! They have so much energy and enthusiasm and it’s a joy to be able to witness them at play, having so much fun with each other. I’m seeing more and more firsthand how beautiful their childlike nature is, and it makes me understand more and more why Our Lord said that we must become like little children to enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Matthew 18:3). Their natural simplicity, trust, and honesty with others is not only what makes them an image of what a disciple of Christ is meant to be, but also an image of Christ to others. There have been so many times I’ve been struck by something one or two of the children have done that, while on the outside is very simple, has had a very profound impact on me. One such instance that has particularly stuck with me occurred during one of the first weeks of school. It was after lunch and I was walking the first graders into Kiwanis Park for their afternoon recess, when one of the girls looked up at me as she crossed the street. A huge, beautiful smile broke out across her face and she ran up and wrapped her arms around me. “Yay, I missed you!” She exclaimed. “Even though it hasn’t been very long, I still missed you!” She was so excited to see me that her classmates were very confused! One of them even asked her if I was her aunt because he assumed we must be related if she was so happy to see me, to which she responded cheerily, “no, she’s my friend!” That moment was such a blessing! I felt so loved, and my heart swelled because there is nothing quite like the love and trust of a child. The Lord used her joy to reach my heart in a very deep way, because at that moment I had a sudden realization that the excitement this little first grader met me with is the joy and love that Jesus greets us with each time we come to Him in prayer or to visit Him in the Blessed Sacrament. I wasn’t prepared for it, but I was suddenly hit with the fact that there are so many realities of our faith we often become desensitized to or take for granted - and perhaps the one we take for granted the most is the miracle that God has humbled Himself so much that He sits in wait for us at every moment in a tiny, golden box in our churches. He eagerly waits for the moment when we will choose to come and be with Him, to sit at His feet in worship and reverence, and to be with Him Who loves us, and Who we strive to love in return. That kind of love is crazy! It’s a humility that is almost unthinkable. And yet he loves us so much that He is willing to wait for us there. And if He would lower Himself to the point of waiting for us in the Tabernacle under the appearance of bread, out of such deep love, we can’t even imagine the joy it must bring to His Heart when we come to be with Him! It makes me think Saint JOhn Vianney, who once said of Jesus in the Tabernacle: "He is hidden there, waiting for us to come to visit Him and to make our requests. He wishes to see us near Him, to tell us that He loves us, and wishes to load us with good things." It has truly renewed my perspective of my prayer. I think back to her wide grin, her comforting hug, and her joyful spirit when I am tempted to come to prayer only out of routine, simply going through the motions. That moment reminds me that I’m not meant to pray only out of obligation, or because the petitions I offer are close to my heart, or because of my own desire for union with Him. While those aren’t by any means bad reasons to pray, I now make the conscious effort to recall the foremost reason I go to prayer: because God is good and deserving of all we have to give, and because He desires to be close to me. What greater gift can I give Him than myself, when what He desires is friendship with me? Now, each day as I make my holy hour, I do so with the perspective that He meets me with an even greater joy and excitement than what I have at seeing Him. It is a joy and love and mercy beyond my comprehension! And I remember that even when I take those moments with the Lord for granted, He never does - whether time with Him is years apart, or only hours. Even when I just went to Mass in the morning, even when I just finished team prayer with the other missionaries, even when I stopped by the chapel only a few hours before, He always embraces me with love, calls me His friend, and says, “I missed you! Even though it hasn’t been very long, I still missed you.” The Lord is waiting for us, friends. He is waiting for us with a deep, burning Love and thirst for a relationship with us that is greater than we can know. So in those moments where you are discouraged in prayer, or it seems like He isn’t present or listening, perhaps try to imagine Him speaking those words to you when you approach Him in prayer. “Yay, I missed you!” Listen to how He calls you His friend. And be assured - even if you can’t see or understand how He is working, even if it’s difficult to come to prayer, even if it would be so much easier to just return to the business of the world instead of sitting in silence with Him - that He is delighted in you, and the moments you spend with Him bring Him such great joy! ~Rachel Hello, everyone!
It's been a while since this blog was last updated and since then, so much has changed! Summer has turned into Fall, five new missionaries have arrived to serve the parish community, and school and programs have started back up again. Isn't it crazy how so much can change within the span of a few months? A year ago, I didn't even know this Missionary Internship Program existed and here I am leading Teen Confirmation. Absolutely wild! God is so good! And speaking of change... transitions are hard, especially when you have to leave behind everything and everyone that is familiar to you. This is something that I have taken to prayer over these past two months and the Lord has comforted me by reminding me that He will provide for me in abundance - and all I have to do is ask. At the beginning of our formation time, we did Lectio Divina with the Wedding at Cana (Jn 2:1-11). I'm sure most, if not all, of you are familiar with the story: Jesus attends a wedding with His Mother Mary and His disciples. Mary notices that the bride and groom have run out of wine and She brings up their need to Jesus. She then tells the servants to be obedient to what Jesus tells them to do. After Jesus tells the servants to fill huge jugs with water, He changes that water into wine. The bride and groom then have 6 stone jars each holding 20-30 gallons of new, good wine that are filled to the brim. Talk about an abundance! In the same way, we should follow Mary's example by bringing our desires to the Lord freely, with childlike confidence. Mary is able to bring Her desires to Jesus with confidence because She is fully aware of Who Jesus is- as the One Who can fulfill our desires. She also acts out of a place of security in Her identity as the Mother of Jesus, Spouse of the Holy Spirit, and a beloved daughter of the Father. Through Her relationship with the Holy Trinity, She is confident that Her request will be granted. Through the Sacraments, we also come to know more about who we are and Who's we are and by frequently participating in them, our relationship with the Holy Trinity is strengthened - we are filled to the brim with God's love and our identity as beloved sons and daughters of God becomes more secure. If we are secure in our identity as beloved children of God, we can then model Mary's confidence in freely bringing our needs and our desires to the Lord. Let us never be afraid to trust that our hearts will be received by our Father in heaven. He is a good, good Father Who desires to give us the kingdom (Luke 12:32) and fill us to the brim with His love and mercy! Our Lady, Star of the Sea, pray for us! +JMJ+ ~ Olga In March, the four of us missionaries had a chance to take a step back and refresh ourselves on who we are in the Eyes of God the Father through a retreat just for us. Our retreat leader took a completely new spin on the Parable of the Prodigal Son! We were each handed our own copy of Henri Nouwen’s The Return of the Prodigal Son and were led through it in the perspectives of the younger son, the elder son, and the father. It blew my mind and I highly recommend any of you reading this blog to check out the book! Through it, I learned that even though the elder son never physically left home, he spiritually “left home” in believing that his father favored his brother more than himself. The envy, anger, and sadness that resulted from this belief paved the road away from his father’s heart. I was reminded of the basic truths that I am good, lovable, and an heir to the Kingdom of heaven. You may think that as a missionary I had no need of being told these basic truths, but living a life of endless giving in the ministry field can make me forget Whose I am. The outward ministry flows from this Father/daughter relationship with God. I can’t give what I don’t have. And by March, all us missionaries needed a refuel of truth! What flowed from this retreat was a reset in team life, in personal prayer, and in service.
A couple weeks following the retreat, Ruby and Melanie led an event held for the girls who attended our weekly youth group called Fidelis, as Christian and I attended an Encounter Ministries conference. In the conference, I learned that even though I am a daughter of God, I am also considered a “son”. Why is this? Because only the son could inherit the father’s wealth in Biblical times. Through my baptism, I become a son of God because I am an heir of His! “Everything I have is yours,” God the Father says through the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:31. The son didn’t have to earn his inheritance. It was automatically his just for being born! And the same is true for me! I don’t have to earn God’s approval by working for Him. I already have His approval because I exist! And so do you! You already have God’s approval because you exist! I have learned over the course of this year that my living in Bremerton was not just about doing but being-being with my teammates, being with the parishioners, and most importantly, being with Jesus. The keys to this year have been love and perseverance. And what better model of love and perseverance than Jesus carrying His cross to Calvary? Our greatest gift was given through the difficulty of the cross! And without the cross, we would not be celebrating the Easter season we are right now! Happy Easter, sons of God! -Tessa “…you received a spirit of adoption, through which we cry, ‘Abba, Father!’ The Spirit itself bears witness with our spirit that we are sons of God, and if sons, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if only we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him.”-Romans 8:16-17 |
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March 2025
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